A Matter of Perspective

Today’s episode is a must listen! Bethany tackles a subject that is near and dear to her heart – perspective/vantage points. She preaches an important thought to both her kids and her clients – at times, our perspective could be completely changed with just a simple step to the right or left. She references those mind-blowing photos that would be completely “normal” with taking the photo from a different vantage point (see link below). In this episode, she talks through several team and patient challenges that could be supported and improved with a slightly different vantage point.   

Bethany references this link “18 Photos that Aren’t Really What They Seem.” 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hanifahrahman/confusing-pictures 

Previous Episodes Worth Revisiting: 

Appreciation Leads to Generosity 

How to Respond to Angry and Unhappy Patients 

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Transcript

Are you looking for a podcast where you
0:04
can hear from real people regarding
0:06
their real dental drama? If so, then
0:09
you've come to the right place. Join
0:11
hosts Bethany Penny and Dr. Reena Kuba
0:14
as we dive into the solutions we've
0:17
created and the mistakes we've made
0:19
while managing dental drama.
0:22
Let's get started. I cannot believe that
0:25
we are nearing the end of summer. I just
0:29
where has it gone? I tend to come to the
0:32
end of summer with a lot of reflection.
0:37
You'll you'll begin to realize that I'm
0:39
a very reflective person, but the end of
0:42
summer marks a real reflective time for
0:45
me because I love summer. I work all
0:48
through the summer, so I don't
0:49
necessarily take any significant breaks,
0:51
but I love that every time I'm home, my
0:54
kids and my husband are home. And so
0:57
it's just a lot of family time and I
1:00
absolutely love just the calm of summer.
1:03
And recently I was lecturing one of my
1:06
kids again on this subject matter and
1:10
just went through this same subject with
1:12
a fantastic team that I've been able to
1:15
work with for many years. Sometimes we
1:17
just need to be reminded of this
1:20
message. So, I'm calling today's episode
1:25
a matter of perspective.
1:28
To me, perspective is one of the most
1:30
fascinating things that we can study.
1:33
Um, one of my favorite ways to think
1:35
about perspective is to look up these
1:39
kind of funky photos. I'm going to
1:41
actually copy a link in today's show
1:43
notes to some of my favorite funky
1:45
photos. It's like the top 18 that you
1:48
look at something and it takes your
1:50
breath away immediately cuz you're like
1:52
that cannot be the real picture. And as
1:54
you look closer, you realize it's the
1:56
camera angle or it's the fact that the
2:00
shorts blended in with the water and
2:02
made the man look legless or it's just
2:05
got these weird eye-catching type photos
2:09
that catch you off guard. And I always
2:13
love to talk to my kids and to teams
2:16
about if you were to just take that
2:19
picture and have the photographer step
2:21
two feet to the left or two feet to the
2:25
right or angle the camera up or down or
2:28
put the flash on or take the flash off.
2:31
that all of those little tiny tweaks
2:34
would give you a completely different
2:37
perspective and a completely different
2:39
vantage point. And at that point, the
2:43
picture would be completely normalized.
2:45
There would be nothing jaw-dropping or
2:47
weird about it. It was so funny. I got
2:50
home from our work trip recently and uh
2:53
got in in the middle of the night, woke
2:55
up the next morning and my little girl
2:57
was on the porch couch and I came out to
3:01
the porch and sat down and was just
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snuggling with her. She was on my lap
3:05
and I just glanced down and realized we
3:08
had the exact same pajama pants on, same
3:11
pattern and everything. And the way that
3:13
I was sitting, her leg was kind of
3:16
draped over my leg, but it looked like
3:17
she had this really gigantic leg and
3:19
this really gigantic foot. So, I had my
3:22
daughter snap a picture and we talked
3:23
about perspective cuz all the kids were
3:25
like, "Oh my gosh, look at Asen's legs.
3:28
Like, that's so weird." And I'm like,
3:29
"Isn't that weird?" And it's all the
3:31
angle of the camera. She obviously
3:33
doesn't have that long leg, but she
3:35
looks like she has that long leg because
3:37
we're wearing the same pants and the way
3:39
my foot is at the end of her little leg,
3:42
it just looked funny. And so in this act
3:46
of taking a different vantage point,
3:50
taking a different perspective, I want
3:52
to really encourage all of us to
3:55
practice this in just our everyday life.
3:58
Sometimes I think we come into a
4:00
situation into a conversation
4:03
into an evaluation of a patient or a
4:06
coworker with just our vantage point and
4:10
none other. We can only see it this one
4:14
way and in our minds it's the right way
4:17
and it's the only way. And what I've
4:19
learned in life is that there's always a
4:22
different way to look at things. So, let
4:26
me give you a few examples.
4:30
We can look at our teammate that somehow
4:35
has forgotten that she needs to take her
4:38
own trash out at the end of the day. And
4:41
we can look at that teammate and go,
4:42
gosh, she is so lazy. She never takes
4:46
her trash out at the end of the day. I'm
4:48
always having to grab it for her. What a
4:50
lazy
4:53
lady. We'll keep it rated here. Um, so
4:57
that is one vantage point. And yes,
5:00
maybe that young lady on your team is
5:03
lazy. That's a possibility. That's a
5:06
perspective that we can choose to take.
5:08
But what if we took two steps to the
5:11
left or two steps to the right and tried
5:14
to see it from a different angle? What
5:16
if every day this young lady has um has
5:22
been working all day to fill the
5:24
schedule for hygiene and she's gotten to
5:27
the end of the day and it's still not
5:28
filled. And so instead of pausing on her
5:32
efforts and taking the trash out because
5:35
she knows that that's going to be part
5:36
of her end of day duties, maybe instead
5:39
she knows she can place three more phone
5:41
calls and have a chance of filling that
5:42
hygiene schedule. Maybe she's not being
5:45
lazy. Maybe she's being smart with her
5:47
time. Let's take it from a slightly
5:50
different vantage point. Let's take it
5:52
from the human side of things and go,
5:53
you know, I realized that when we
5:56
brought this young lady on board, we
5:58
never told her that everybody takes
6:01
their own trash out at the end of the
6:03
day. That's never been communicated to
6:05
her. She's not lazy. She may be thinking
6:08
that it's somebody else's responsibility
6:10
or maybe that we have a cleaning crew
6:12
that comes and takes out the trash. How
6:14
would she know that it's her
6:16
responsibility? Okay, so that's a
6:18
different vantage point. Maybe we take
6:21
it to a personal side of things and we
6:24
go, you know, she has mentioned that she
6:26
has not only two little ones, but she's
6:29
also got an ailing mother. I wonder if
6:32
she's having to run out at the end of
6:34
the day to go and grab her girls and
6:37
then go to take care of her sick mother.
6:40
Maybe that's why she's not taking out
6:42
the trash.
6:43
You can see how there are multiple ways
6:46
of viewing a situation. And we can go in
6:50
and just assume that our way is the
6:52
right way. Or we can pause and go, let
6:54
me move this camera angle around
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multiple ways and see all the reasons
6:59
why she might be leaving her trash at
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the end of the day. Now, it doesn't mean
7:04
that we just chalk it up to one of those
7:07
reasons and then just we're always
7:08
taking out the trash. No, we need to
7:11
have a gentle conversation where we go,
7:12
"Hey, I don't know if you ever were made
7:15
aware of this, but everybody takes their
7:17
own trash out at the end of the day. Um,
7:19
hey, if you ever need help, you just let
7:21
me know. I'll be happy to take it for
7:22
you, but I just wanted to make sure you
7:24
knew kind of the expectations." So, we
7:26
can still set expectations and have a
7:28
conversation that that clues this person
7:31
in to what the expectations are, but it
7:34
doesn't mean that we spend weeks being
7:36
frustrated about the fact that she never
7:38
takes her trash out. It means instead of
7:41
chewing on the same vantage point, the
7:44
same perspective over and over and over
7:46
again, we pause and we intentionally try
7:50
to see it from other angles. If any of
7:54
you are in a serious relationship,
7:56
I bet you do this quite often. Either
7:59
that or you are you a whole heck of a
8:01
lot. So, u I my husband and I, we are
8:05
absolute and complete opposites. And I
8:09
can't tell you how many times we have to
8:12
pause and say, "Hey, you're speaking at
8:15
it from this perspective. I'm speaking
8:18
at it from this perspective." Can you
8:19
see how we're not talking about the same
8:21
thing?
8:22
um or you said these exact words, but
8:27
what you're telling me now is you meant
8:29
this instead. Is that accurate? So
8:32
rather than digging heels in and just
8:34
choosing to only believe it the way that
8:37
we want to believe the message or the
8:39
conversation or the action, we instead
8:42
should take time to consider alternate
8:46
perspectives. Now, I think this goes a
8:48
long way in teamwork, but I also think
8:51
this goes a very long way in our patient
8:54
care. I can't tell you how many times,
8:57
and I get it, we have a hard job. We are
9:00
caretaking for patients all day long.
9:04
Some of them nice, many of them not
9:06
nice. Um, you know, the the world has
9:09
certainly become a place that's a little
9:11
bit grouchier, and that's
9:12
understandable. We get tired. We wear
9:15
thin in our caretaking abilities with
9:18
grouchy or ungrateful patients. So, I
9:21
totally get that. But sometimes what I
9:23
think we do is that we cast our
9:26
perspective onto a patient in a negative
9:29
way. So, we do this when we see a
9:34
notoriously cranky patient on the
9:36
schedule for the day. We might go about
9:39
it going, "Oh, Sherry at the front,
9:42
Sherry, why did you put that cranky
9:44
patient on our schedule today? We
9:47
already have this other cranky patient.
9:49
Sherry, you have doomed us for today."
9:51
So, we're giving Sherry, you know, the
9:53
what, too. And Sherry, you messed up by
9:56
putting this cranky patient on the
9:58
schedule day. So, now we've got a
9:59
perspective about Sherry that she just
10:01
was so airheaded that she didn't realize
10:03
we had another cranky patient on the
10:04
day. And then we take our assumptions
10:07
into morning huddle and we oh we got
10:10
cranky pants number two today. Anybody
10:12
remember the last time he was here.
10:14
Gosh, he gave me such a lip about this
10:18
and that and left us a negative review
10:21
and he's just cranky. Right. So we take
10:24
that perspective into morning huddle and
10:27
then the whole team is expecting Mr.
10:29
Cranky Pants to show up. Cranky Pants
10:32
shows up and even if he showed up in a
10:35
good mood, the way that we were acting
10:38
towards him would have said, "We expect
10:40
you to be in a bad mood." And we would
10:43
have potentially cast that perspective
10:45
onto him. Now, we can choose to pull
10:48
back and think of a few things that
10:51
could justify Mr. Cranky Pants behavior.
10:54
We can go, hey, maybe it's something
10:57
something as simple as, you know, he
10:59
doesn't hear very well and I've noticed
11:02
when I talk softly, he gets agitated.
11:07
Maybe it's that he can't hear me and
11:09
he's embarrassed to say that. Okay,
11:11
that's one perspective. Maybe we take
11:14
and we go, "Mr. Cranky Pants, man, I
11:16
wonder what happened. He used to be so
11:18
nice. I remember his last hygiene visit
11:21
and he was just joking and carrying on."
11:24
What could have happened in the last six
11:27
months that made Mr. Cranky Pants Mr.
11:29
Cranky Pants? And our mind can take us
11:32
to multiple scenarios. Maybe he got a
11:34
health diagnosis. Maybe his wife is
11:37
sick. Maybe he lost a grandchild. Um
11:40
maybe he realized that his retirement
11:43
took such a hit that he's going to have
11:45
to go pick up hours at Walmart. Who
11:48
knows? But there could very well be a
11:51
reason that Mr. cranky pants has grown
11:54
in crankiness over the last 6 months if
11:57
we're willing to slow down and take that
11:59
perspective.
12:00
Now, I also want to tell you that I see
12:03
this playing out quite a bit bit amongst
12:06
team members.
12:07
I think this is where it impacts us the
12:10
most because we
12:13
have the ability to chart the course for
12:16
a positive day where we can all leave
12:20
feeling good about what we've done and
12:22
what we've accomplished. We can leave
12:24
the day feeling good about one another
12:26
or we can choose to insert negative
12:30
perspectives all throughout the day. We
12:33
could say something like, "Man, why does
12:36
our office manager keep questioning me
12:39
about this email? I already told her
12:42
that I sent the email. Why does she keep
12:44
following up about it?" Maybe instead we
12:47
go, "There's got to be a reason she
12:49
keeps asking about this email. I wonder
12:52
if she's worried about what I said to
12:54
this particular patient. Maybe I should
12:56
share my email response with her." or
13:01
maybe she knows something about this
13:03
situation that I don't know about. So,
13:06
she keeps asking me about this email
13:08
that I was supposed to send. She must
13:10
know something. This must be significant
13:13
and that's why she keeps asking. I need
13:14
to make sure that I prioritize that
13:16
today. Or it could mean, h man, our
13:20
office manager is a little extra
13:23
questioning these last couple weeks.
13:25
wonder what's going on in her life that
13:28
could make her a little extra these last
13:31
couple of weeks. Right? So, we are quick
13:34
to just immediately assume the worst and
13:38
that is our vantage point. That is our
13:40
perspective and nothing that anybody can
13:43
say can sway us from that. We owe it to
13:46
ourselves
13:48
to choose a different vantage point.
13:52
I told this to this amazing team that I
13:54
was just talking with a few days ago and
13:56
I said something similar to this. It
14:00
only hurts us more individually,
14:04
personally. It hurts us more to assume
14:07
the negative vantage point to assume
14:10
that something is wrong. It helps us in
14:15
our mood, in our health, in the way that
14:19
we approach the day. It actually
14:21
physically helps us to choose a more
14:24
positive vantage point or a positive
14:27
perspective. But what's awesome is it
14:30
also helps those around us. When we
14:33
choose a negative vantage point, it is
14:36
sometimes so tangible that you can't
14:38
walk into a room without feeling it or
14:40
sensing it. If we choose a positive
14:44
vantage point or a positive assumption
14:47
or perspective, it breathes life into
14:51
our co-workers, into our boss and into
14:55
the patients. So the the vantage point
14:59
that is negative in its assumption
15:02
negatively impacts everybody including
15:04
ourselves. the vantage point that is
15:07
positive positively impacts everybody
15:11
including our patients. So I want to
15:13
challenge you today. I want you to take
15:16
a look at your team, your team members,
15:21
your boss, your patients.
15:25
Heck, I could tell you to just challenge
15:28
yourself personally, your spouse, your
15:31
children, your parents.
15:34
Let your imagination go. And I want you
15:37
to really think about where you are
15:40
choosing to assume a negative
15:42
perspective. With all of those
15:44
situations, where do you tend to
15:46
verbalize the negative or
15:48
unintentionally speak that negative
15:50
vantage point over the situation?
15:54
I would ask you today to identify all of
15:57
those with your team, your boss, your
15:59
patients, your family. I want you to
16:02
choose where am I assuming that negative
16:06
perspective and what can I do to turn it
16:09
around and see things differently.
16:13
I think the work that you put into this
16:15
mentally today, this week, however long
16:18
it takes to get through this, the work
16:20
that you put put into this could be
16:22
incredibly eyeopening and impactful not
16:26
only to those around you, but to you and
16:28
the way that you feel and the way that
16:30
you conduct your mind and your energy
16:33
throughout the day. So, this is a
16:35
worthwhile activity. I would challenge
16:38
you to go and look at the funny pictures
16:40
that I'm gonna put in the show notes for
16:42
today to go for some inspiration on what
16:46
does she mean by a different vantage
16:48
point. Any one of those, there's 18
16:50
pictures in this post that I'll put up.
16:52
Any one of those 18 pictures, if you
16:53
just imagine the camera being moved
16:56
slightly, you'll realize that it's a
16:58
completely different picture and it
16:59
normalizes. So, I want to challenge you
17:02
on that little activity to go and do
17:03
that and then allow your mind to think
17:06
about all the areas where your vantage
17:08
point needs to change.
17:11
I know you can do it. Uh so, I'd
17:13
encourage you to go and do it. And by
17:15
the way, don't forget this is our last
17:17
week of July content. So, if you're
17:20
looking for some amazing team building
17:23
tips, perspective taking, you got to go
17:27
sign up. I would encourage a level two
17:30
pres subscription. It's called a
17:32
prescription.
17:34
It Yeah, do yourself a favor. Go get the
17:37
subscription. You're not going to be
17:38
disappointed in the content that you
17:40
have there. You've only got this week to
17:41
get it. So, go grab that. Y'all have a
17:44
fantastic week. I cannot wait to hear
17:46
all about the different perspectives
17:48
that you've developed. Thanks for
17:51
joining the conversation today. We hope
17:53
that you are comforted in knowing that
17:55
you are not alone, but we also hope that
17:58
you're walking away with some really
17:59
great tips and tricks to try in your
18:02
practice.
18:03
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18:06
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