Dr. Kuba’s Therapy Session

Dr. Kuba spills the beans today. In complete vulnerability she discusses the recent opening (and closing) of her second location. She unpacks all of the emotions and thought that went into turning the page on this new and exciting venture in her life. At times, life throws curve balls your way, and you have to react, to pivot. Today’s episode focuses on the importance of pivoting and then fighting against the feelings of regret, disappointment, and even guilt and instead forcing yourself to see the silver lining in it all. Welcome to Dr. Kuba’s therapy session! 

Interested in the Leadership Summit? 

Friday, September 18 from 8:30 – 4:30

Inquire or register TODAY: 

https://www.hellobethany.com/about-3 

📣April Content is available TODAY!! Learn all about transformation in this month’s content. Become a subscriber TODAY!  

Don’t forget!! Free and paying subscribers will have the ability to access our FREE WEBINAR “CUSTOMER SERVICE ON STEROIDS”. It is meant to be free training for the whole team, so become a free OR PAID subscriber today! 

Don't forget to check out our social media for more
Managing Dental Drama FB
Managing Dental Drama IG

Connect with the Managing Dental Drama Community!
Managing Dental Drama Membership Club Sign Up

Wait! There's More!
We want to hear YOUR voice!
Text a 2-minute voice memo to 214.326.4605 with your questions, comments, real-life examples, or tips for a chance to have YOUR voice on the air!

Interested in the Leadership Summit?
Friday, September 18, 2026 from 8:30 – 4:30
Inquire or register TODAY:  HelloBethany.com

Transcript

0:01
Are you looking for a podcast where you can hear from real people regarding their real dental drama? If so, then
0:09
you've come to the right place. Join hosts Bethany Penny and Dr. Reena Kuba as we dive into the solutions we've
0:17
created and the mistakes we've made while managing dental drama. Let's get started. What's up, lady?
0:24
Hey. Um, I am super excited about something you just told me. What?
0:31
The leadership class. We talked about it and then I'll be honest, I kind of forgot about it
0:38
cuz I guess you guys you and your miracle workers work on all the logistics. I totally forgot about it.
0:44
And you just mentioned that it's it's happening.
0:47
Y'all are about to send out the info so people can sign up cuz people have been asking. So, I think a few of y'all that have already asked for the information,
0:58
I think Sarah already sent it to them. Yes.
1:01
Um, but I I'll be honest, I totally forgot about it until I know right now when you just read it.
1:07
I know. So, it is official. Like, we've got our the location booked, which is going to be in the Colony, um, which is really close to like DFW airport. Um,
1:19
and then it's a 1-day event. So, 8:30 to 4:30 on Friday, September 18th. So,
1:27
everybody needs to block their calendars. It is happening on that day.
1:32
It's designed for practice owners and any leadership person that you have in your practice, whether that's a manager
1:39
or a team lead or somebody that's trying to grow into leadership. The whole course is designed to give leaders the tools that they need to lead well,
1:49
manage well. I am so pumped about it. Um so yeah, it it is happening and you need to stay tuned for um all the details.
1:58
We'll start pushing that out as far as how to register, the cost to register.
2:03
Our subscribers get discounts for this seminar. So if you're a subscriber,
2:10
lucky you. You get some discounts on this. So, we want everybody, we want to pack this place out.
2:14
Love it. Love it. So, I think the the thought, if I remember correctly, was if you're out of town, come in on Thursday.
2:23
Mhm.
2:23
And then it gives you the opportunity to go ahead and leave Friday if you, you know, need to do that. But then I think,
2:30
is that the first weekend of the state fair or is that not till the weekend after? Oh, I don't. It might be the weekend after. Anyway, there's always stuff going on in Dallas.
2:39
Um, and especially in that area, like the colony makes it sound like we're out in the boonies where you live. It's not.
2:47
It's It's a It's actually very what, 15 minutes probably from DFW.
2:51
There's a ton of stuff to do around there. So, um, for anybody who wants to bring their teams for the course and then have a team building, whatever, uh,
3:00
you know, if you stayed through Saturday or Sunday. Um, so really fun location.
3:05
Yeah, I really thought about those details for our subscribers. I wasn't even going to mention this, but I'll mention it
3:12
now. The very next day on Saturday, we haven't done this. We did skipped it last year, but we did it the year before. Um, our subscribers and my
3:22
clients will be invited to Bethy's brunch. Okay. I know we talked about that, but I wasn't sure if that was also part of this. You didn't mention that.
3:30
I know. Well, you're surprise. It's happening. So, all of that is booked and it's booked. really close to the hotel
3:37
um at a really great um Bobby Fle breakfast place. And so yes, uh all of our subscribers and my clients will be
3:46
invited to so you can tack it on if you are coming in Thursday night, stay with us on Friday, have some fun Friday night, and then enjoy brunch with you
3:55
and me on Saturday. So it's going to be a fun-filled weekend.
3:58
Well, I hope I'm available Saturday. You didn't tell me about that. I need to put it in my block your calendar, Dr. Kuba. I'm doing that right now. Right now. Um.
4:06
Yes. September 18th. You say 19.
4:10
September 18th is the leadership and then the leadership summit and then the 19th is the Bethany brunch. Okay. Got it.
4:18
It's going to be fun. Got it. Yes. I will be there.
4:21
You You have to because I'm a client and a subscriber. So, I will get my invitation. Excellent.
4:28
Yes. Oh my goodness. Okay. So, what do you want to talk about today?
4:33
I want to talk about um and mostly because this is therapeutic for me. So I'm leaning to you, my therapist session.
4:42
Yes. Um because you've been a big part of this and I haven't always listened to you on this. So I think part of it me uh you know coming full circle going, "Okay,
4:53
mama, I didn't listen. Like uh you can tell me now why I should have done this or should have done that." Um,
5:00
but I do think it's uh a lot of um feelings in this one that I, you know,
5:08
I'm very feeling driven and try to spur some logic in there every now and then and you kind of help with that part of
5:16
it. And so, uh, I think a lot of this has been feelely for me. And uh I'm
5:23
hoping that anybody listening whether you um coincide with my feelings and thoughts,
5:32
but even if not, hopefully there's enough here that whatever feeling tentacle applies to you, I think there's
5:40
a variety of emotions that I think may be helpful to my colleagues. So, um, and
5:50
with either going, "Oh, God, yes, you fool. That you shouldn't have done xyz.
5:55
I'm not going to do that." So, maybe there's a lesson to be learned or whatever. So, what I'm talking about here is um the uh satellite location.
6:06
Yes.
6:06
That I had the opportunity to uh try out last year. So, I'm pretty sure we did an episodeish
6:14
or maybe we talked about I think we talked about it. I can't remember if we did a full episode, but I do think it would be helpful to quickly
6:22
remind people that you had this opportunity for a second location. Just highlight details.
6:29
It was about this time last year. God bless. It feels like it was just two months ago, but I guess it was last
6:35
year. and kind of again reminder I've always been like who can have two
6:42
offices what are you doing so opening multiple offices was never anything on my radar I just knew that that would be
6:50
too much for me even though one is too much for me how am I going to handle two so um anyway I think when the
6:57
opportunity presented itself and was like hey here's this subly space it's set up for an orthodontic practice is
7:06
the orthodontist wants to step out and not finish his sub lease. So, you know,
7:13
coming kind of with this sub lease and equipment's being left behind. So, it's really lowcost
7:20
startup adventure. Um, do you want to try this? And my first thought was like,
7:28
no, no, of course I don't. But then I think I remember even me leaving you a voicemail and I think I remember
7:35
starting it with, okay, you ready for my next hair brand idea? You ready to like,
7:40
you know, remind me, stop being an idiot? Um, but I've been presented this opportunity that it seems like, you know, I could have this 9 10 month
7:49
subleasase runway to kind of test out this market, give like it's very low risk to try.
7:56
Um,
7:58
so should I try it? And I think some of what anyway it maybe maybe I'll come back to that. I I won't go in there because it may not be relevant here. But
8:05
some of the reasoning that I was like it's low risk is because equipment was already there.
8:12
We just thought it's not far from my practice. So anyway, we we just thought it could work. So and you had come back
8:20
with like no, I don't think that's a stupid idea at all.
8:24
Let's explore this and see the space and whatever. So, you came out there with me to look at the space and you're like, "Yeah, I think we can make this work.
8:30
It's not ideal, but I think we can make it work." Um, as far as startup costs,
8:35
this is what we're looking at. As far as staffing coverage, I think we can make this work because of these reasons. And
8:42
so, I was like, "Okay, for me, for being a feely, it was like, yeah, it seems
8:50
like this should be pretty straightforward." Yeah.
8:53
and you were like and logically it makes sense because of XYZ. Mhm.
8:58
So, I think some of that XYZ that I may go into right now, it's we were um we knew we were going to have to onboard an
9:05
associate at some point because my associate at that time was going to be heading out at some point and we had both kind of left it
9:13
open-ended like, hey man, if I find somebody then, you know, that person's going to start, but it may take some time and you
9:23
might end up finding a practice to purchase. this. So, it's kind of this open-ended
9:30
arrangement that was working for both of us, but it was like, well, if we try this subly space and this little satellite, then it may work out well
9:40
that if associate hasn't found something or maybe by then we knew he was going to be starting something.
9:47
Yes. But that too was like, okay, even when he starts his, he's probably going to want to supplement some days, which we could use help with, and if we did
9:55
have satellite anyway, it just seemed to make sense to try. Yeah. So, we agreed to try it.
10:04
Yeah. And um so all last summer was dealing with all of the um startup
10:10
process, all of the you know renovation or not really renovation, that sounds intense, but sprucing it up, getting it
10:18
ready to go, getting the team on boarded, uh getting software, you know,
10:24
onboarded. Yeah. all of anybody who's open to practice, all that startup, but it was crunched down because you take
10:31
out the uh having to buy a ton of equipment, like thinking about a a true startup, you're buying, you're building
10:39
out a floor plan, you're So, it was like we could fast forward most of that timeline and it's almost like get just to the very end and do some sprucing up and some organization and then open it,
10:50
right?
10:52
Um and it turned out not to be as straightforward as it as we thought
10:59
because set equipment a lot of it didn't work. Yeah.
11:03
A lot of it wasn't compliant like the computers weren't compliant.
11:07
Um when you come down to things that I hadn't really thought about that you had that I hadn't um was the uh you know we
11:15
were on we talked about not too long ago about a cloud-based system. So, we are traditional Dentric serverbased system. We were going to try
11:24
a cloud-based. I thought, how hard could this be? We can learn this cloud-based system in a month or two because we already have our systems in place. So,
11:34
in my mind, it was like, okay, you've got a Word document and you need to put all that same information into Excel.
11:42
So, it's a different format, but the information is still the same. It's just we're going to have to get used to a different format. Let's just say that that's not how simple it was. So, um,
11:51
and maybe it should have been. Was I complicating it? Was my team complicating it? It was just I I think
11:58
the other thing is we ended up hiring some team members that definitely added
12:04
to the strengths and weaknesses and helped with some things but complicated other things um that I guess I hadn't
12:13
really quite anticipated at the forefront. So, in other words, if we hadn't onboarded those people and I was looking at just my team, I know my
12:22
team's strengths and weaknesses and I could fuss with their schedules and all of that. But because we ended up onboarding new new people that presented
12:32
themselves and it seemed like it would be a good fit and in the end it has been a good fit. Honestly, that's been the best part of
12:40
the whole adventure is meeting these team members. But I think I underestimated
12:46
a lot of um the coming together and not knowing their personalities and skill sets and all of that. So I think that's,
12:58
you know, it created some chaos and some work. I'll be honest, even with all of the chaos of last summer and figuring
13:06
out, wait a minute, this isn't going to work, that isn't going to work, this isn't this, in theory, we should have
13:13
just been able to go take some scalers and function. Yeah.
13:18
And it's a little bit more complicated than that that I didn't anticipate because my personality, a lot of those details just kind of like give me a headache. It's not fun.
13:30
And do I tend to be more of a quick start where let's just go and we will figure out some of these details. Yeah.
13:37
Um and so that did come back to haunt me a little bit, but I still had a ton of fun.
13:47
Yes,
13:47
it was still fun for me even with all of those logistics where I think some of my team members were like, "Have you lost your mind? And what is wrong with you?"
13:56
And to me, I'm like, "What?" like this is easy peasy compared to starting my original practice. Yes.
14:03
And it's kind of fun to use that side of my brain again like okay well damn that didn't work the way I thought but that's okay cuz we can pivot this way and and I'm good at doing that.
14:13
Yeah,
14:14
but kind of forgot that the rest of the team really isn't good at doing that.
14:19
And so I'm like what's wrong with all you people? Like come on let's go.
14:23
Why isn't everybody else having fun with this? Yes. Come on. Y'all are sinking. call for a life vest.
14:28
I don't know. I'm good at swimming. I'm good. I got this. Like, I don't need a life vest. Oh, I guess you do. Okay,
14:34
well, speak up. Quit drowning back there. I'll throw you a life vest. What's wrong with you?
14:42
Um, so it was just a little bit of that where Anyway, fast forward to we're making it work. Patients are coming in.
14:50
We finally hit our rhythm. It's going well. even to the point of in December.
14:56
Uh we're April now, but in December I was like, "Yes, landlord, send me the lease. I'm ready to sign." Cuz to to
15:04
iterate this point or to highlight this point, this was a very short subleasase window that you had, like a 9 to 10
15:11
month sub lease window. So, you know, 7 8 months in, you're like, "Hey, let's yes, landlord send me the This wasn't a
15:19
long-term thing yet." You have Right. Right. Right. And in my mind, I think because there were still things that I wanted to spend a little money on, like the reception desk was
15:27
disgusting and I was like, I really want it to look nice and you know, we want to have a ribbon cutting and I can't have a ribbon cutting with this looking
15:34
disgusting. So, let me but before I put that money in, I want to make sure I sign the lease so I can get the TI improvement money back. So, send me the
15:43
lease. I'm ready. And in my mind kind of going, how dumb is it to spend what we spent on marketing and then like are we
15:51
going to have a whole new phone number and a whole new website and the pros and cons of that? And I made a choice a certain way and so it's like okay well
16:00
we're already like who who's going to spend this money and go through these logistics to stop in 10 months? That seems stupid, right?
16:10
So go ahead and let's sign this lease.
16:12
like clearly we're making this work and patients are rolling in and we're finding our rhythm and some of these things that are still kind of a kink. Well, we'll we'll figure those out.
16:20
It'll be fine. Let's not. Well, the landlord never replied to me and so I forgot about it and we kept going and then I tell you, it's funny just timing.
16:31
Mhm. Um,
16:33
come January, I had some family stuff going on and then February said stuff still going on and then me going, "Okay,
16:43
we're about to hit March.
16:46
Oh my god, that sub lease expires March 31st." Yeah.
16:50
And it's just funny how just kind of quickly like 6 or 8 weeks could make that difference for me, an emotional person.
16:58
Yeah. And so there I am sitting at the end of February going,
17:02
I've got a month. And with the January and February I just had,
17:07
I don't know that I want to do this anymore. Mhm.
17:11
And I think probably you may have been caught off guard. I know accountants kind of caught off guard. Staff was kind of, you know, like what are you doing?
17:19
Yeah. Um,
17:21
but I think my So, lesson number one here that I'm like, do you pivot?
17:28
So, if you feel like something's not right and you're like, something needs to change. I think a lot of us are like
17:36
averse to change only because we know it's going to create a subset of domino dropping effect that it's like okay
17:45
maybe for me this is a pivoting moment but what is it going to do to the team
17:52
for our patients for our finances for logistics and all of that and I think that's where most of us kind of
18:00
get crippled and it's like I can't make all of these changes because it doesn't just impact me,
18:07
right?
18:09
Um, but I feel like I was at a crossroad where I was like, if if the moment to come to pivot, this is the moment and I
18:18
don't think I can pivot if I don't right now. Yeah.
18:21
Now, whether that was logically sound or just based in feeling, I think that's where I struggled a little bit to go,
18:30
what should I do here? Am I just panicking because of some of the things that have happened in January and February? And are those temporary things
18:38
and if I just let the dust settle and then I carry on like normal? Yeah.
18:43
Um or do I need to pivot and this makes logical sense too. Mhm.
18:50
And so I think um I turned to you for a lot of that. So I think some of some of what um so let me be a little bit more
18:58
specific. January, a really close family member passed away. It wasn't a surprise necessarily because it wasn't like it
19:05
was a young person that was in a car accident. It wasn't like that. It was an older uncle that we knew had cancer that
19:13
we knew, but it was still like it happened quicker. Like we thought we had a year or two left and it kind of wasn't. And so that was very stressful
19:21
on the family. Um, and it was just a big reminder for me going, well, your parents are right there. And so
19:29
everything that I've been trying to plan for for the last couple of years could come into fruition anytime.
19:36
And it was just a reminder of that.
19:38
Um, but also logistically speaking, we had a lot of staffing changes. Yeah.
19:45
That I think I was like, "Okay, we're okay. We're okay. We'll make it work. We'll make it work."
19:50
And I think because of the light of uncle and shedding like I may not physically be in the building if my
19:58
parents have XYZ happen and the emotional like if uncles was that emotional and difficult on the family what am I going to do
20:07
when it's my own parents that again it's no it shouldn't be a surprise they're older but um I think for me it was a
20:17
moment of going okay know what it made me go back and reflect and go when we started this adventure last year,
20:27
my manager hygienist was with me four to five days a week. Yeah.
20:33
My other hygienist who's had five babies now and after all four babies has always come back to her two to three days a week.
20:43
And she is such a powerful team member in that people really respect her. look to her for professionalism. Look to her
20:52
for efficiency. Look to her for accountability. Yeah.
20:56
Um and she let us know in January because she had baby number four at the end of 24.
21:04
Mhm. And she was still coming back all of 25. Her normal 2 to 3 days. Yeah.
21:09
But then oopsie, she's pregnant again and having baby number five in at the end of 2025.
21:16
Yeah. But again, from my side, four babies over the last, you know, 8 years. Like, I can count on her coming back.
21:23
And she says she's coming back. Well,
21:25
she hit us in January with, "Well, I am going to come back, but one day a week." Mhm. Oh, okay. Yeah, we can make that work.
21:34
Yeah.
21:35
I'd rather have you one day than no days. Yeah.
21:38
But now the other one who's always been there four to five days a week is cutting down to two days a week.
21:43
Yeah. So, these are two of my long-term team lead accountability people. Yeah.
21:51
That are kind of going, "We're not going to be there very much this year." Yeah. Fine. I don't think I really I was like,
21:58
"Okay, all right. We'll be okay." But then I think in light of like uncle passing and being a stark reminder of
22:05
wait a minute, this could be the year where you need to you're not going to be here much and if your two team leads are not going
22:12
to be here and are your strong accountability people just their presence in the office holds people accountable. So if I'm not there, these
22:20
two are there and they're holding everybody accountable.
22:23
Um, and we were already starting to have some issues at the end of December,
22:27
January, February that we haven't had in a long time. Yeah. In terms of this person called in. Yeah.
22:35
This person swapped her days. This person didn't show up here. This person didn't um she's supposed to be in charge of XYZ, but she kind of was like, "Well,
22:46
I didn't really take care of that." And I'm starting to go, "We haven't had these problems in a while years." Yeah.
22:52
Wait a minute. I haven't been there a lot in January, February.
22:57
This team lead hasn't been there. This other one hasn't been there. Huh. All the cats are away and the mice are. And
23:06
I guess to me that was a moment of going, I didn't think I had a mice problem. I thought we were all this welloiled machine. We all knew our jobs.
23:14
We all knew our roles. So, I was really irritated and disappointed to kind of go, "Okay, well, yeah, with some of us
23:21
not there, everybody else is kind of doing whatever they want because they kind of can." And so, I was like, "You know what? F that." Like, I'm really
23:30
irritated that that's the boat I'm finding myself in. But whatever, it is what it is.
23:34
Then we were hit with at the end of January, another one of our teammates realized she was pregnant.
23:42
Mhm. Um, and so she was not thinking she was anyway, she discovered she was pregnant and now we're all like, "Okay,
23:50
well, what are you doing?" And she's like, "Yes." She let us know at the end of January, beginning of February, "Yes,
23:56
I'm not going to come back to work after having the baby." Mhm.
24:00
Um, which again was kind of a blow because she's been with us for eight or nine years. Yeah. And really stellar in her role.
24:08
Mhm. So replacing her in that role is going to be challenging. Yeah. But now I'm left with going, okay, well,
24:16
but I do have all of these other team members and kind of trying to explore to see, yeah, you've got the people, but
24:24
the skill set with those people. And again, maybe any other office would be fine. Yeah.
24:29
But that's not my personality. I like my welloiled machine. I've been spoiled to have it this long. We've worked very hard to have it. So that when it was
24:38
just me playing in satellite office and everybody else was in place, it ran like a welloiled m welloiled machine. And now
24:47
two are gone and we're about to lose a third of this welloiled machine. Even you kind of going in a startup you have
24:55
one team member. It's the doc and the team member and team member has to do everything. They've got to learn the front. They've got to learn the
25:03
assisting. They've got to learn all of that. and I'm spoiled. I don't want that. I didn't want to have that
25:10
experience. So, even every time I was in satellite office, I would pull my more seasoned people so that we could run it
25:17
like a welloiled machine because I didn't want to run it like a startup. Yeah.
25:21
And I didn't think I was going to have to run it like a startup. When we first talked about doing it, I thought I had the people in place to make that happen, right?
25:28
And now I'm like, all of that's unraveling. All of it. Um, so I think for the average person who's ready to start this and who
25:37
is not as anal as I am and really I want it I need it to be in autopilot mode. Yeah.
25:45
And so if I'm coming over here and I've got this one team member who's not really great at her verbiage with talking about treatment plans and not really great with her verbiage on the
25:53
phone but she's really good sitting with me with chairside but then again she doesn't really know what I want as far as charting. So that means I've got to
26:01
come back, check the charting, check the notes, check the ledger, check the check the check the check the do this, do that, do that, do that. And I think in my mind when I agreed to do the startup,
26:13
I wasn't planning on doing any of that. Yeah.
26:16
Because I was going to take my current team with me on the days that,
26:21
well, I can't do that now because now I've hired these other people who are learning, but I don't have the patience to help them keep learning. Yeah,
26:30
I want it my way.
26:32
Easy peasy. That's what I signed up for when I started startup. Um, so I think that goes back to again,
26:38
what were you wanting? What were you thinking? Were your expectations realistic? All of that. I don't think we went wrong in any of that. But do I
26:47
think things have changed? Yeah, they have. Absolutely.
26:51
So the question becomes, can I change? M can I be okay with going okay well no there is a lot more training required
26:58
and a this and that and I just decided no I don't have it in me I don't have it in me at this time in my life in this season of life I don't
27:06
Yeah so and you were up against a long-term commitment that you were needing to make for that lease yeah and that's when I think I was like
27:15
I can't do this I don't well what's that going to mean then for the domino effect of now pivoting again
27:24
or well I don't really count last year as a pivot that was just this adventure opportunity yeah but now I was ready to sign that lease
27:32
in December and now at the end of January 2 months later well February yeah right so you count all of December you
27:40
count all of January and now we're at February first week or so of February so about 10 weeks 8 weeks later where I'm like the circumstances have changed
27:49
can I pivot to match these circumstances or am I shutting this show down? Yeah.
27:55
I think for most people, you're going to be like, "Are you out of your mind? You spent what on changing your website,
28:02
getting a new email address, spending a ridiculous amount of money on marketing,
28:07
spending all this money on equipment that that place didn't have.
28:12
All of that was done with me wanting this easy peasy and going, you know what?" And now me going, "Well, it's not easy. I'm ejecting myself out of this."
28:25
Is this stupid to do? And yeah, I guess depending on who you ask, it may be a very stupid decision.
28:30
Now, do I re regret like now coming fast forward to making that decision now? It's been about what,
28:39
six weeks that four to six weeks that I'm like, I'm not doing this. I'm not signing this lease. Yeah. We're shutting down.
28:46
Yeah. Um,
28:50
I think for me this week because now we're first week of April, so really having to shut down
28:58
and kind of clean out and vacate has been happening in the last week or two.
29:03
And um, it's just been very emotional again for me. Yeah.
29:08
And I'm trying to sort through these emotions and going,
29:11
did I do the wrong thing? Should I have signed that lease? Is this embarrassing? Like to be like,
29:19
"Hey guys, never mind." What are patients going to think? Are they going to be like, or what are the neighbors going to be like,
29:27
"She didn't even make it a year." Oh, shortlived.
29:30
Oh, shortlived. Like, whatever. And I'll be honest, I don't feel any of that. Yeah.
29:36
The embarrassment is not there whatsoever. Couldn't care less what the neighbors think.
29:40
Couldn't care less what the patients think. Like, I really don't. I've had to dig deep and go where is some of this angst coming from? Like what can I put
29:47
my finger on what it is that's been bothering me about all of this? And I tell you, I realized the the one that has struck has been guilt.
29:56
I feel guilty because my team really did bend over backwards to try to help make this work. Like physical labor in moving
30:05
in there and now like moving out this week has been just a doozy. um like any move is.
30:13
Yeah.
30:13
And I guess to me I um I was there a lot this week and discovering things that I was like I had no idea the amount of nonsense we purchased for this practice.
30:24
Why do I not know this?
30:26
Oh, because I delegated it and I didn't watch it carefully. Um now is most of that stuff going to go to
30:33
waste? No. I mean it's supplies we'll use. I shouldn't have to buy supplies for another 2 years or five. Um because we stocked it as if we were there for
30:41
eternity. Um so should I have paid more attention? Yeah. So do I feel bad about some of that?
30:48
Some of the items that we purchased. I know I agreed to purchase it, but I'm like why did I agree to do that? Yeah.
30:56
Like did that make sense? And it must have at the time, but I'm feeling guilty that I didn't that I maybe delegated too much.
31:04
Um I don't know. And maybe, you know,
31:08
honestly, maybe I did at the beginning go, what fool is only going to be here for eight or nine months? Of course, you're going to be here for 5 10 years.
31:15
So, yes, go ahead and buy whatever if it's on sale or if we can get a deal.
31:20
But now, I'm like, we have what? We have two brand new cavatrons that have been used less than 10 times. Yeah.
31:28
Brand new pan. Anybody need a 2D pan? I got one. It's pretty much brand new.
31:32
It's taken less than 30 images that I'm trying to sell now, which I know nobody wants 2D, but there might be somebody out there that wants a 2D.
31:40
Um, it's a good machine, brand new. It's probably taken less than 100 images. Um,
31:45
curing lights, all of that, right? Like brand new stuff that now I'm like, okay, I got to turn around and sell this. Yeah.
31:52
And and try to utilize what we can in Irving. Like if we've got certain things that are kind of outdated and we were,
31:58
you know, was on its last leg, all right, we'll put stuff over there any but it's just guilt. I feel guilty about the monies that I have spent that I'm
32:05
not going to get back. For example, the countertop that I spent six grand on sprucing up because in December I was ready to sign that lease
32:14
and we thought we were going to have a ribbon cutting in January or February when I signed the lease and never got the TI money. I'm not going to get my six grand back.
32:21
So, just stuff like that that I'm like and I've been so lucky. My husband's not said a word, but this is our money.
32:29
Yeah.
32:29
That's like down the toilet. I just feel tremendous guilt for that. Feel tremendous guilt for like my team like now having to try to figure out where to
32:37
put all this and moving it and all that. And yeah, they're getting paid to do it, but I think just I just feel guilty. Yeah.
32:44
Um but should I feel embarrassed? Should I feel I don't know.
32:49
Yeah. No. No. I mean, and the bottom line is you're feeling what you're feeling. It's like a lot of times we don't have control over that. And I what
32:58
I do appreciate is that you're trying to dig deep to figure out what is what is it actually that I'm feeling. And I
33:06
think the fact that you landed on guilt is really so uh relatable I I guess is the only other
33:14
word. I feel like so many practice owners feel constant guilt like they're always letting somebody down with the decisions that they're making.
33:26
And there's this pressure of guilt like,
33:29
"Oh, I'm overwhelming this person or I've dissatisfied this person." And and it just feels like there's no win-win solutions.
33:36
Well, even even I don't feel embarrassed for like patients going, "What? You just got here?" But I do feel guilty going,
33:42
"Oh." Um cuz some of we we had some of the patients from location one that live closer to location two. So, we knew
33:50
they're going to come back to location one, but they're probably going, "What the hell?"
33:54
Yeah. But then the new patients we've acquired, like I just I'm like, "Sorry,
33:58
now you're going to have to drive further out or find a new dentist." And so I just feel guilty. I'm like, you know, I just feel bad. Like I hope they
34:06
don't feel duped like you were just here and now you've come over to switch over to us and now we're going to switch you over again. Um, so I just, you know, and
34:16
then like all the software blah blah. Even the IT guys, the IT guys are banking on this because we needed so much help cuz that space was so
34:24
illequipped and we had so many IT I spent thousands on IT stuff getting that place equipped for what we needed. And now the
34:33
IT guys are back trying to undo everything we've done. Now I've got all these extra computers. Now I've gotten just like what am I going to do with all of these? If anybody needs a computer,
34:43
let me know. I got brand new computers that are all HIPPA compliant with Windows 11 stuff, right? I just feel guilty. I feel guilty. I don't like things going to waste. I don't like,
34:52
you know, I like I like to repurpose things and I'm like, we just I there's only so much I can do, you know, and then like my husband hates when I bring office stuff to store at the house.
35:04
But I'm like, there's going to be a ton of stuff I'm stoing at the house.
35:07
You you just have to shut up about it. I don't know what to say. But I feel guilty about that. Not only have I used all our funds to fund this little side project, but now I'm shutting it down
35:15
without even asking you. And now, by the way, move your stuff over because I've got a Yeah. So, I just feel guilt.
35:22
Yeah. It feels like you you are not only, you know, letting people down,
35:28
like you feel like you've let your husband down in this scenario or any or anybody for that matter, but also it's more a factor of inconvenience like you
35:37
inconvenienced people with the start of this practice and now a short time later you're inconveniencing people with the
35:44
closure of it. But what I think is really significant here though is that when you really put that timeline
35:52
together, December is when you reached out to the landlord and like send me that lease. I'm ready to sign it. And it
36:01
shows the power that life can have on our decision-m because what happened was
36:07
a series of things that broke your confidence and made you falter in your long-term commitment to this plan. And I
36:17
think we have to react to life. Like at the end of the day, you couldn't have
36:23
predicted back a year ago that your um uncle would have passed and would have
36:31
caused you this moment of like, "Oh my gosh, I'm headed in that direction." And for you to see it firsthand how how much you needed to be there even for your uncle and his family and you're like,
36:42
"How much more am I going to need to be there for mine when the time comes?" So,
36:45
which you've always had your parents in your mind, but that's a stark reality that you're hit with um so intimately.
36:55
Then for your main manager, your team lead that's kind of been the go-to person that she's going through her own
37:02
burnout. I need more time away. Which we she had talked about this eventually,
37:08
but it always felt like a distant reality. And then all of a sudden,
37:13
it hit really her I feel like her burnout hit right as this startup, this
37:19
second location was starting. And the go-to person that she always was, she was kind of like, I don't want to be it.
37:28
And so that was a big change in this whole thing. And then throughout the course of the last year, she's cut way
37:37
back. I think probably more than you and I expected.
37:41
Then your other star hygienist who's got natural influence on the team again, her pregnancy and not coming back as much as
37:49
she's been there. then your next employee. You know, it's like employee after employee that we thought were
37:57
solid fixtures in the practice that we really could hang our hat on, so to speak, that there there are people we didn't even think about would be out of the picture or less in the picture.
38:08
Like, you can't not attend to those realities that you were being hit with. Now, that doesn't mean, oh my gosh, yes,
38:16
we have to close it. Close it. But I think all of that together makes makes it make sense why you would close it
38:23
because then you're realizing this is not as easy as I had wanted it to be. And I think in December you felt
38:32
that not that it was easy. I I don't want to say that but you had worked through all the kinks. The practice was
38:38
doing well. The new patient I was thrilled with. I know it's always unsettling for a startup to know what's reality like are these good trends. I
38:47
was thrilled with the trends. I was like, this is exactly what we wanted it to do, how we wanted it to perform, all of it was looking good. And then all
38:56
these dominoes of of what you experienced, it made you and you're not, we always joke about you're never like the super long-term thinker.
39:07
I am.
39:09
And so I think all of those things combined made you think long term for a moment cuz then it was kind of like oh
39:17
wow like let me fast forward on where this is going to be a year from now and can I sustain that essentially on my own
39:26
but and not that you would be on your own that's not what I want to indicate but the people you had always relied on
39:33
you were imagining the reality of these two locations really without their support and knowing it was going to be
39:41
like, do you have it within you to carry both of these practices on your back with with the unknown of what's going to
39:49
happen with your parents? And so the guilt is there because you imagined it
39:56
to be a much more long-term investment and the money that you are sinking into it now was going to pay off
40:03
and it would have. We have no doubt. I mean, sitting here right now, I think you and I could both say if that practice was still open, a year from now, it would be successful.
40:12
I think I would have had all my money back. I think that was the other thing that I think we would have really kind of outgrown the space by the end of this year. Yeah.
40:19
Uh because it was such a clunky odd space. Yeah.
40:21
Um so that was that was another consideration was like, okay, the way this is growing and projecting, you know, I I would have had my investment back in a in a year-ish time. Mhm.
40:31
Um, so can I could I have carried both? Yes, I could have.
40:39
But did I want to? Because that would have meant a lot more of me in the office. Mhm.
40:45
And I have been setting myself up the last 2 or 3 years to be able to say when I need to step away for family life
40:54
stuff, I've got these people in place or these systems in place. Mhm.
40:58
And it just boiled down to I and you know, again, if if uncle hadn't passed,
41:02
I I don't know. I think I I'm just tired mentally. I'm mentally tired. My mom was back in the ER again
41:10
and for a period of time in February and I think I was just like, you know, we we went through that last year and I was like, I just I'm beat. I'm
41:20
beat. And it it has nothing really to do with the office, just in general, my ability to
41:27
uh make decisions and make decisions quickly and really think through things.
41:31
I'm just kind of in a place right now where I'm just like whatever.
41:34
Yeah. And I can't do that with a new practice and
41:40
like when I get into my whatever land, I had people in place that could pick up and then when if one or two were in whatever land, then I come in and the
41:49
rest of us supplement. But to have all of these people in whatever land, it's like I I I I choose not to. I can step
41:57
up. I do not want to. This is not what I want. I don't want to work this hard for it right now. And sometimes that decision. So to me,
42:06
there's a cost to every decision.
42:08
There's a cost to, you know, starting this second location. There's a cost to closing this second location. But at the
42:16
end of the day, the some of these hard decisions, well, I would say all of the hard decisions have big price tags to
42:24
them, either financially, which it's almost like you're choosing the consequence. Like, am I going to choose
42:31
to continue to carry both practices on my back? cuz to to make it even more clear, you were able to focus on the
42:39
Copel location because the Irving team was so solid and secure. And then as
42:46
that unraveled cuz all these key people that were talking about Irving team and so as you're watching that unravel, now you're back to feeling like now I can't
42:55
just focus on Copel. I got to be back focusing on both. Exactly.
43:00
And can I do that? And so the there could have been multiple outcomes here.
43:04
You could have said, "Yes, I can pull myself up by my bootstraps and I'm going to do both of these and I'm going to buckle down and I'm going to do it."
43:12
Well, there's an emotional cost to that that you would have been committing to.
43:18
Or there's the decision that you made where it's like, "No, I'm going to take that financial price tag. I'm gonna have
43:25
to be okay with it and I'm gonna choose to pay it pay out my decision in that way. And it sounds so devastating to think about it in these terms,
43:35
but we've got leaders have hard decisions to make and there's usually a cost to it. And and sometimes we can
43:45
come up with a win-winwin that just happens to work out beautifully. But I would say those are more rare. There's often times things that we're having to weigh out and we're like, what am I
43:52
willing to drop here? or what cost am I willing to pay here to solve this problem? And so I I do think you chose
44:01
in this particular case to go I'm willing to handle the price tag slap on the butt and just protect my long-term
44:11
goal, which was to always be there for my parents when the time comes. And so I've got to free myself back up. I've
44:19
got to refocus myself on Irving because that's the original baby and it's struggling right now. So, I got to be able to put all my eggs back in that
44:27
basket and almost like a simplification process. I'm just going to streamline,
44:33
simplify, and get back to a place that you knew you could manage for the foreseeable future.
44:38
Thousand you've just summed it all up beautifully. And so, but hence now comes the guilt of that financial price tag and
44:47
kind of going Okay. Well, yeah.
44:51
Could I? Should I? Could And then I just keep stopping myself going, "Stop."
44:55
Like, it's not like you fell ass backwards into going, "Oh,
44:59
let's take a location." Like, we we had a plan and we thought very clearly through all of that. And I had fun. Even the software foolery, I had fun trying
45:07
to figure that out. Who thought I would have fun trying to solve some of these like logistical whatevers? Um, and I love the creativity it allowed me to
45:16
have and revisit cuz I haven't been in that mindset for a long time. And um, so I was having a lot of fun. And I would
45:25
say I love the people that I met. I loved the team members that I got on board. I loved the landlord. Who loves their landlord? He was such a cute
45:33
little guy. I loved our neighbors. They were a quirky little bunch and trying to get to know them and navigate them. I loved the marketing lady. she was, you
45:41
know, a funny person. So, like I love I loved all of that. Um,
45:47
so every time I went over there, even though it was like what I didn't love was the space, it was but
45:54
I loved that we made it look better and I loved walking into that and going, "Hey, look at our new adventure. Look,
45:59
we're doing it. There's patients walking in. We're doing it." And then um to have to kind of stifle all of that
46:06
has been, you know, sad. But at the end of the day now coming forward now what 4 5 6 weeks whatever the timeline is. Do I
46:14
regret it? Honestly, I'm not regretting it. I don't think I've made a wrong decision for me to shut this down.
46:22
It's just I'm feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. Well, and I would say the, you know, encouragement because
46:28
every, even though our listeners may not have been in your exact scenario, I I do think practice owners and leaders are
46:36
constantly in this tugof-war with every decision, big or small. There's there's losses and gains from each decision. And
46:44
I think you can clearly see for yourself this was the right decision, albeit you're struggling with the guilt of it.
46:51
But I think the way out of the guilt is to look for those silver linings. Um to
46:58
go, okay, but what was gained out of this? And you and I have done this a lot since the decision, which is, you know,
47:05
the team members that you gained that you hired for that CPA location. We just love love love these ladies and what a gift they've been to the overall team,
47:16
the big the big team. Um so that's the silver lining. the fact that you were forced really to dive into
47:25
cloud-based software which you would have never looked at had it not been for this and that was eyeopening what you learned in that process the uh
47:33
deficiencies that were revealed where you're like oh I thought we had this set in stone from the Irving location but this is obviously not set in stone let's
47:41
go back and revisit this system and and actually you know put put some things in place because I thought this was clear and it wasn't And so there was so much
47:50
learned in the process, gained in the process. Sure, there was a big financial price tag to it, but also that's
47:59
counterbalanced by the things that were gained. And could you have gained those things had you not opened the
48:06
copellocation? No, you wouldn't have gained any of those without doing that.
48:12
So it's almost like there's a a learning and a gaining that that could take place. Yes. with a price tag. But don't
48:19
we pay for education all the time? I mean, we go to courses, we buy plane tickets, we do all this fancy education.
48:26
I'm like, what can we just kind of chalk this up to? This was a really great, you know, 8 n 10 month learning process that
48:34
we really did gain a lot. And I think that you got to just fight for those silver linings of of what was good.
48:42
Well, thank you for saying that because to me that's what I've been trying to do because I don't want to just, you know,
48:48
like wallow in my own, you know, telling myself, man, you're an idiot. Um because I have had moments of going,
48:55
this is so dumb. This is so we just put this stuff up 8 months ago and now here we go just taking it back down. Like why did I even bother with this adventure?
49:05
Like this is all on you. This is all on you, you fool. You agre you wanted to do this and now you're taking it right back. Like all of the stress and chaos
49:13
of the last year could have been avoided. Yeah.
49:17
Why? Why did you like what's wrong with you? You knew you have always said you've mocked your buddies that start a second location. Why did you think Yeah.
49:26
you're an idiot? Why did you not listen to your own advice? And then I then I stop and I go, "But that's really not um
49:33
it's not like I sought out a second location as this opportunity presented itself." And and you're right, like there was so much knowledge gained. You are absolutely right.
49:43
Yeah. And it's like when we choose to just kind of keep coming back to that, it's not going to take away the guilt,
49:48
but I think it lessens it. And I think we've got to feed our mind more of those silver linings than the regret of of any
49:55
decision. Uh we just have to fight for what was the good that came out of it.
49:59
So I think that's the the key takeaway on this.
50:02
Yeah. And then I think um I know when I first told one of my colleagues that so I'll I'm going to give her a shout out
50:09
uh Dr. Puit Elise in uh Capel. We knew each other. Yeah.
50:14
Um but dare I say like she's become a dear friend of mine. Yeah.
50:19
I never would have gotten this close to her if we hadn't done the Capel location.
50:23
Yes. That's a great And like I I look forward to we have monthly lunches now and I look forward to it. you know me, I don't look forward to much anything social, but I look
50:32
forward to these lunches cuz she's so um she's funny and she has great advice and things to say. And uh the week that I
50:41
had decided, I hadn't even told my team yet um that I was shutting down. And I happened to have lunch with her and I
50:49
said, "Hey, you got to promise me like you're not going to say a word to anybody, but this is what's going on.
50:54
I'm going to shut down." and she was so uber supportive, but she also said, you know, it's funny like I'm glad you're saying this because you're pivoting and it's showing me that it's okay to pivot.
51:06
And so then she kind of talked about some things that she may pivot on and I was like, huh, okay, maybe there are some pearls and takeaways other than me
51:14
just feeling like a freaking fool right now, you know? But yeah, it it's it's okay to pivot um when life hands you
51:22
different things. Now, is that an excuse to say, "Well, you know, I if I really had done something stupid and me going,
51:28
well, it wasn't really stupid because whatever." But that's not what I'm doing here. No.
51:33
Um I think everything has been thought out. It just again, I was at a crossroads. Either you sign this lease and then you're signing up for a lot
51:41
more emotional, mental um input, which I'm capable of, but I just don't want to.
51:49
Yeah.
51:50
And and I'm lucky. am so blessed right now that I could, you know, I think I said it in one of the podcasts recently that that I'm in a place in my life that
51:58
I can, you know, of course it sucks to lose this money, but I'm still I'm not about to retire tomorrow. I have a few years to earn back
52:07
exactly what I just lost in this stupid investment. So if you look at it as I could have put it into um you know a
52:15
startup on some app you know we all invest in things and we lose money there and not much to be gained there. Well I
52:22
invested in this second practice I decided not to proceed. I lost my investment, but I gained so much
52:29
knowledge in so many different areas and the people I met and like Alisa is one of them. And there's multiple doctors like that that I was able to connect
52:36
with that I would never have had the opportunity to do that had I not gone through this adventure.
52:43
Absolutely. Yeah. I love that. Well,
52:46
thank you for being vulnerable enough to share that. I think I'm going to title this one Dr. Koopa's therapy session. Yes.
52:53
Adequate, right?
52:54
Yes. Or you could just call it you're a fool.
52:59
I don't know that that title would get much play.
53:01
I think people would be like who who's the fool? Tell me about it. Can we say that on this podcast? Yes, we can. And we have.
53:11
Thanks for joining the conversation today. We hope that you are comforted in knowing that you are not alone, but we also hope that you're walking away with
53:20
some really great tips and tricks to try in your practice.
53:24
We value your feedback, so please take a few moments to rate and review the podcast. Finally, we want to make sure
53:33
that we're covering the topics that matter to you. So, track us down on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and
53:40
let us know what topics you want us to cover. As always, please know that we are rooting for you today as you manage your dental drama.